Faith and Wating...

Seasons of waiting are so hard. Especially in today’s digital age where we are used to things happening instantly. We get our questions answered in seconds by ChatGPT, Amazon offers same-day delivery, breaking news spreads in minutes all over social media. The human attention span has deteriorated so much so that even 5 minutes can feel difficult to sit and wait for something. We all know that real life doesn’t work as fast as the internet does, yet despite logically knowing t

his, it’s still so taxing to be in a season of waiting. These periods are confusing, challenging, and they test your patience. And who really wants their patience to be tested more than it already is everyday? 

I’ve recently been in many seasons of waiting. Waiting for the right job after graduation (that took 6 months, but felt like years!), yet still waiting for my career to really move in the direction I want it to. Waiting for my husband’s CT scan results… Waiting for the market to stabilize so we can move… Waiting for the right time to have difficult conversations with my family about unhealthy patterns that need to be broken… No matter what it is that I’m waiting for, the struggle is the same. During my journal time yesterday morning I had a lot of thoughts come up as I reflected on waiting. Feel free to skip the next paragraph if faith is not an important part of your life!

God revealed some really important things to me as I reflected on seasons of waiting. For me, that was my faith. It’s easy for me to start questioning or challenging God’s plan, and He reminded me to have faith that all things are working out for me in perfect timing. And I can breathe a little easier again remembering who actually is in control of all things. And thank goodness it’s not me!

While having a relationship with God, or any strong spiritual beliefs/faith, can be a protective factor to mental health, there are still a few other things that come to mind for me to help ourselves in seasons of waiting. The first is recognizing where in your life you’re clinging onto control, and letting it go. I’ve learned over the years that the more I try to control my environment, outcomes, my routines, the less in control I actually am. (If you’re interested in Internal Family Systems therapy, this “control” experience would be your manager part working overtime!) I fall for the trap that if I can just structure my days to obtain perfect productivity, then my career will really start to explode. I aim to create perfect morning and evening routines, make every email just perfect before I send it (so I end up only sending half of the emails I could in a day because I’m working so slowly trying to be perfect!). The never ending chase of perfection makes waiting for my desired outcome even more insufferable. The wait can be so much more enjoyable when I ground myself back to the here and now, and remember that life is meant to be lived in the present moment - and it is far from perfect.

The other thing that makes waiting feel so challenging are the lies of comparison. And social media makes this lie so easy to believe. When we’re already vulnerable to believing something is wrong with us or our life’s timeline, consuming everyone else’s highlight reels just amplifies this vulnerability. Seeing other’s posts about their career advancements, growing families, buying new cars or homes, traveling the world - and we’re sitting at home just waiting? It’s too much sometimes. I’ve personally made the decision to remove myself from social media. This was a boundary I needed to set to protect myself, but I know that not everybody wants to remove themselves from Instagram, X, etc. However, if you find that every time you’re on it and feel depleted afterwards, I do encourage you to set some boundaries regarding social media use. If you find yourself overstimulated after social media use, and numb yourself with maybe substance, food, or even binge watching Netflix, this is your “firefighter” part now working overtime. Our firefighters turn to anything that will help calm us when we’re overstimulated or too emotional. If this is something you’d like to explore more in therapy, I’d love to support you in that.

There are so many more things to say about unhelpful thought patterns, choices, or behaviors we engage in during seasons of waiting, but that would turn into way too long for just one blog!

So, you might’ve noticed that one of the areas in counseling I specialize in are “life transitions”. You might be wondering the difference between a life transition, and a season of waiting. There are definitely a lot of overlaps, including seeking clarity, peace, and meaning. But to differentiate the two, the simplest way to put it is that a transition includes a clearer end and beginning. You’re leaving one job to start another. You’re graduating college and entering the “real world”. You’re moving out of your hometown to a new state. You’re going from singleness into a serious relationship. There’s excitement, grief, anxiety, but a somewhat clearer timeline. You might have had more say in the transition, but in a season of waiting, it’s so much more open ended than that. You’re hoping and looking for a certain outcome, but in reality you don’t know what’s next, when it’s coming, who will be there, or maybe you don’t even understand why you’re in this place. You might not have had any say in the situation that led to you being in a spot of waiting. There’s confusion, questions, and really no clear end in sight. You might be feeling like you’re “doing the right things”, but you’re not seeing the fruit of your efforts. It can be really life draining and defeating. 

If you’re in a spot where the waiting is too challenging and making day to day more difficult than usual, reach out to me today. I’d love to support you, your faith, and/or your mental health during this season of waiting. 

Lexie Taylor LPC-MHSP (temp), holds a masters degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and is practicing under the supervision of Joy Samuels, TN LPC-MHSP #2364

Lexie's goal is to help her clients see themselves as the expert in their own life. She helps her clients discover their own set of values and to make choices in life that are in alignment with their core self. Her modalities include cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and existentialism, among others.

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